He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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