I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
