I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
