I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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