Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
