More tranny stories later!
Can i not drive my cunt home
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
