I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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