mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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