Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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