i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
