I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We got so high we made milksteak
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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