Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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