He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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