i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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