mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
