420 ftw
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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