i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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