Do you still have your period?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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