you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize