The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I could fuck to npr.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
