If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
