So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
