Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
