And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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