I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
