dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
