He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
