i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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