He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
