No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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