So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
