his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I know her cup size but not her name....
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
