I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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