you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
