seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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