her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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