Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
