Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
