I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
