dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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