apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
