Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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