How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
third nipple confirmed
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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