I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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