There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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