she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
