After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
