I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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