somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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