Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I love you. Go after that dick
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
