Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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